East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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