i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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