so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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