Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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