its not stalking. its research.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want to make out with him forever
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
