whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize