bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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