hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
