Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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