Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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