I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
