and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize