We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
