Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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