Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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