Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
