I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
