Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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