Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
