I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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