He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
