so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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