It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
