I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
