Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
