Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize