Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
