she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
