Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
