he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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