so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
