Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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