Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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