I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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