i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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