how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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