R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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