how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
