If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
