1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
