He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
