dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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