I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
