I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
