I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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