Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
