Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
