If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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