none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
