Need sex. Gaining weight.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
