Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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