drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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