you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
