just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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