I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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