He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
pray to the hookup gods
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
