let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my shit smells like andre
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
wow bdsm is so cute
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
