3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize