tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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