i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
