This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
