The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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