Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
