brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize