I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
