Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
