I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
