fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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