Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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