I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
